Middle Earth musings & mirth

A forum specifically for posts and discussions of all things Tolkien and Middle-Earth.
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Ancalagon
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Post January 8th, 2021, 3:20 pm

Who here doesn't enjoy JRRT's Middle Earth? :wink:

From time to time I put pencil or (fountain) pen to paper and slightly rework passages from LotR (book and film) to give them a quirky / offbeat flavor. I figured I'd post scribblings here from time-to-time. This is also a fine place to discuss Middle Earth as the thread is not intended as a vanity project by any means. :)
“Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.” - Carl Sagan

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Ancalagon
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Post January 8th, 2021, 3:27 pm

Tom Bombadil liked to sing. He liked to sing loudly. He sang quite poorly, mind you, but that never stopped him from singing proudly.

Ol' Tom also liked to give friendly hugs. He didn't like soap and water at all but never let that get in the way of a good hugging... or mugging as some viewed it.

Tom Bombadil also liked to eat and feed his guests beets. And being the talented fellow he was, he could pick and prepare them with his feet. But Ol' Tom wasn't too particular about shoes nor the shit he walked through so be extra careful if your beets smell like feet.
“Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.” - Carl Sagan

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Ancalagon
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Post January 8th, 2021, 4:33 pm

Tom Bombadil lost his yellow boots. Ancient, absentminded simpleton. He gets that way from time to time, forgetful. Goldberry stewed his boots with some Hobbit taters and Tom ate them without noticing. The mental lapses explain why he smells the way he does, a natural result of forgetting to combine soap with water. No need to worry about the smell from Tom's body if you ever find yourself in a conversation with him. I don't think he's cleaned his teeth for an Age. What passes for breath that escapes him is sufficiently awful that cockroaches flee in revulsion. But Ol' Tom is a really good dancer!
“Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.” - Carl Sagan

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Post January 11th, 2021, 2:13 pm

Good ol' Tom Bombadil, eh wot. Nicely done, sir. I watched the LotR trilogy over the holiday break and am intending to pickup the books again...soon. It'll be interesting to see how I interpret ol' T-Bomb after so many years since my last read. :? Of note, when I lived in Kentucky about twenty years ago, and where some of my family still lives, our local bar in Richmond was called "T. Bombs" after Tom Bombadil (prior to COVID, I think it was still there). The owners may have been Led Zeppelin fans...?

Just out back of where I live now is a wooded public park encompassing opposing sides of a wide ravine having a lake at the bottom, and in which I take walks from time to time. The wooded slopes are crisscrossed with knotty root-laced trails that, especially at this time of year in north Florida when the leaves have finally fallen...a bit, reminds me vividly of the scene in Fellowship that to me signals the true start of Frodo's adventure: the gaggle of hobbits have just tumbled over the cliff from Farmer Maggot's and onto "The Road!" As Frodo looks down the leaf-covered trail, it seems to expand with a small whirlwind blowing the leaves up in a sinister manner. "I think we should get off the road..." :twisted:

Thus as I walk there rises in my mind eager musings on adventures to come in realms untold... Woot.

Game on!
-Wesley

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Ancalagon
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Post May 27th, 2022, 1:30 pm

"Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things than orcs in the deep places of the world," Gandalf said.

"Whatever that was in the water, it grabbed Frodo first," Pippin added.

"Be QUIET!" Gandalf snapped.

"Damn. That..." Merry began.

"...boy is stupid," Sam finished.
“Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.” - Carl Sagan

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Post July 27th, 2022, 10:09 pm

"The man who wields this sword can summon to to him an army more deadly than any that walks this earth. Put side the ranger. Become who you were born to be," said Elrond.

"I do not want that power. I have never wanted it," Aragorn replied.

"Not again! Oh for f*ck's sake!" Elrond exclaimed. " You are the last of that bloodline! There IS NO OTHER!!"

"Are you sure? I'd rather play cards and pound beers with the guys," Aragon said as he shrugged and smiled.

"You're f*cking with me again, aren't you," Elrond stated more than asked.

"Give me the sword," Aragorn commanded.
“Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.” - Carl Sagan

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Necron 99
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Post July 28th, 2022, 10:39 am

haha. :lol:

Somehow I can picture Elrond saying that in your voice.
“He found himself wondering at times, especially in the autumn, about the wild lands, and strange visions of mountains that he had never seen came into his dreams.” - Fellowship of the Ring, J.R.R. Tolkien

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Post August 9th, 2022, 8:34 pm

I'm just trying to imagine Elrond actually saying "You're fucking with me again..." and I just can't make it work. Maybe it's because there's too much Agent Smith mixed up in my mental picture of Elrond thanks to the movies.
“May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one.” -Malcom Reynolds

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Post August 13th, 2022, 11:01 pm

"Mr. Frodo!" Sam exclaimed.

"No, Sam. I'm going to Mordor alone," Frodo replied as he paddled the boat away from the river bank.

"Of course you are. And I'm going with you," Sam insisted as he strode resolutely into the water.

'Idiot,' Frodo thought. "You can't swim!" he shouted.

As Sam slipped on Anduin's muddy bottom, he tried reaching out in all directions for something grab for support but found nothing. Realization of his predicament began to set in as his need for air grew. "Well, shit," he thought. "I made a promise to Old Smelly and now I've let it pickle my wits. If Frodo doesn't hurry up I'm going to have a hell of a time explaining this to Rosie Cotton."
“Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.” - Carl Sagan

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Post August 19th, 2022, 1:05 pm

"Peregrin Took... guard of the citadel my arse," Gandalf mumbled around the mouthpiece of his pipe. He found the idea so absurd that he began coughing with the effort to suppress laughter.

Pippin approached Gandalf with a cup of water thinking the wizard suffered with a dry throat. Gandalf took the water then waved away the young hobbit before he laughed in his face.

'Fool of a Took!' Gandalf thought as his coughing persisted. 'The next time we encounter a balrog I know who is going to the front of the group to face it. One balrog every three thousand years is quite enough... As is one Peregrin Took.'
“Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.” - Carl Sagan

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